Last week I was a victim of myself three out of seven days. Inner Critic left me with no choice but to tune out with the first thing Netflix offered me: the 2015 film The Intern starring Anne Hathaway and Robert De Niro. It was adorable.
Anne Hathaway plays Jules, a distracted 30-something wrangling tasks at her fast-growing startup in NYC. Robert De Niro plays Ben, a 70-year-old retiree who fits boomer stereotypes, and has no character flaws. Ben applies to be a senior intern at Jules’ Company and befriends everyone, even Jules who, despite her many flaws, is likeable by the end of the film and calls Ben her “intern slash best friend.”
At first, Jules does not want Ben around. She tells him that he is a burden to her, and leaves him with zero work while she literally bikes around the office floor attending 5 – minute meetings, spilling soy sauce on herself during stressful strategic planning, answering too many calls, and never giving anyone, even her spouse and kid at home, her full attention.
Ben still manages to find lots to do simply by being helpful and present with other staff, and by supporting Jules behind the scenes. He confronts her driver for driving under the influence, he cleans up a desk that he notices her complaining about, and he picks up some soup for her when he hears she hasn’t eaten that day.
Even that feels like too much. Jules has him transferred on account of him being “too observant,” only to discover soon after how fond she is of him. She begins to open herself up to his wisdom and help, which gets her through some seismic life and work decisions.
“What, do I need adult supervision??” Jules asks her disgruntled coworker who is dissatisfied with her leadership early in the movie. I think she finds that the answer is yes, but not because she is unfit to lead, or the wrong person for her company.
Jules self-sabotages things every day because of how much she cares about doing things well and right. At the very beginning of the movie, she subs in to take customer service calls, getting a feel for where the rubber meets the road at her company. She ends up giving her personal cell phone number to the customer she’s helping, earning her a side-eye from the agent working next to her. Later on, she freaks out when one of the buttons on the company website stops working, panicking so much that she sends an email to the wrong person and ends up in hot water. She is hardworking and passionate, and yet so stuck in a cycle of “I have to do this myself,” landing her in crises again and again.
It’s embarrassing to imagine that the algorithm sent this movie my way last week because my phone heard me say “I’m mad at myself” and “I want to do it myself” at least 3 times a day, but it’s possible. Watching a stretched-thin, badass company head struggle so much that she needs an older, wiser, and impossibly good stranger to help see her blind spots and recover her confidence was balm for my critical soul.
I heard a Krista Tippett podcast that suggested perhaps part of the reason young kids are so drawn to their grandparents is because grandparents are at peace with themselves in a way that parents often are not. Makes sense to me! I see Ben the retiree and want to be “there” so badly. Not retired – just wise, seasoned, calm, direct…
I guess I will just have to take the long way like everyone else.
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